Shedding Layers / Realness
I am writing after eight months and nothing feels the same. Today I am most connected to who I truly am but like they say it, “There is light after darkness.” And it stands true to my story too.
At the beginning of 2019 my life took a stand still, and I had awakening after awakening after awakening. It was a moment when I felt nothing is going right. I felt life is stuck, my thoughts were stuck and everything seemed to be blur. My questions had no answers, my doubts had no reason, my hopes were limiting. I stopped meeting people, I stopped going out. While I was in constant battles with my self with my mind. Beneath all the doubts of figuring what was wrong , at the back of my mind a constant thought kept playing in that phase – This phase means something really big because you need this setback to change your perception on life, to break the mask you are living with. And to get through that phase I kept meditating every morning, sleeping to self affirmations every night and reading law of attractions daily.
And today after eight months I am coming out writing about that phase because now I know why everything happens. Why you feel a certain way. I was evolving. I was shedding layers I picked up in the past years of being an influencer. The layers that I couldn’t tolerate any more. The turmoil of not showing who I truly was building up and it started to affect my productivity as a creator. When I didn’t feel honest, I wasn’t liking what I was producing.
Frankly I became an influencer much before than I knew what is the precise meaning of this heavy word. May be it was having more followers, looking prettier, being a fancy show off and pretending to be presentable all the time is the only way to be is what I picked up. But it was my perception of looking. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Like they say the world is the way you want to see it. And that needed to change.
Today I am not the same person be it physically, emotionally or even mentally I feel like a brand new person or may be I feel this is how i have always been deep down, this is how I was until I was 5 years old, until the world got to me. In utter joy with myself, without any expectations from the world, and not going after the instagramable perfection my feed tried to show life is all about.
In a very significant moment I became completely confident to take my guard down and show my blog family that what I truly am even when the cameras are off. sometimes I eat with hands, sometimes I might even lick the curry from the plate. And I began to show that. To be comfortable to share my innate vulnerability and that felt like true power. To embrace who I really was and I decided to let it show.
It is a progress, it is a change, a change so inevitable that sometimes i would be dreadful if you told me this is what i am going to become. But it is the best thing that 2019 taught me it helped me shed the toxic layers that were caging me.
I travelled so much, met people from all the arenas of fashion and paparazzi, one thing that I picked up is how fake everyone pretends to be, including me, and this fake exhibit is only a shield we all have picked up to be acceptable and that made me look into myself that in my four and half years of blogging journey what have I become. An extreme professional for sure, an extreme workaholic for sure but somewhere I lost who I truly was. And that is my comeback, unguarded, un-prepared, un-cut with full dose of self love.
Today I deeply felt like talking about what unfucking yourself feels like, what is shedding layers like, what is realness and why it is so much needed in this supreme virtuality of where world is headed and how it is affecting all of our mental well being no matter what field are we in.
HERE IS HOW TO UN FUCK YOURSELF IN 7 WAYS
We often become the reflection of people we watch around us. Declutter your mind by practising mindfulness by becoming thoughtless by tapping in your subconscious. You will shed so many unwanted layers you didn’t even know existed.
As simple as it sounds, working out connects you to yourself everyday. This me time is all you need to daily condition to keep yourself first before anybody else.
PRACTICE SELF AFFIRMATIONS #IAM
Repeating words like “I AM BEAUTIFUL, I AM SUCCESSFUL, I AM UNSTOPPABLE, conditions our mind to actually start believing. And it all starts when you are start believing in yourself. So start talking to yourself.
WRITE A DIARY/NOTES
If something triggers you and you have no one to confide, open notes in your phone and write everything that disturbs you, about that person, about that situation, and once you have poured it out, the void in your heart will start to disappear.
STAY AWAY FROM NEGATIVE ENERGY OF PEOPLE
Aura is a big thing and we all have it. It is the energy we all vibrate on. The internet calls it energy chakras and i totally feel that even if you talk to someone you can sense their energy levels and if you are surrounded by people who deplete your energy, stay away from them. And you can only balance your energy chakras by introspection and meditation.
LIVING WITH GRATITUDE
Thanking god for every small thing goes a long way in manifesting the life in true potential. Take acmoment to thank universe for whatever is on your plate right now, no matter big or small.
LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR EVERY NIGHT
We all are little human beings wanting to be loved, wanting to be appreciated, uplifted but to get that how much do we try changing ourselves, while change in scenarios is inevitable a self awareness of who you are needs to be constant.
So every night when you look at yourself in the mirror make sure you aren’t afraid by who you have become. You must look at yourself like a child looks at the cookie, like a honey bee flocks a flower. You must become obsessed with yourself in that moment and if you sense a discomfort in looking at yourself, trust me mirror never lies. Start introspection, start shedding layers.
An Arch Attire Production
Poetry and Story: Swati Sharma
Model: Swati Sharma
Photography: Karishma D’Souza
Outfit: Zara Woman
Heels: Carlton London